Daughter of the Beard


stories, photos, and documentation of the most amazing little girl on the planet.

Phiaisms  Mommy Posts  Animated GIF's  

Ask about my family

Submit to The Beard

daughterofthebeard:

She’s been running a fever

Mommy has been sick and apparently Phia had a 103 fever today and didn’t go to school!  But, LOL, Phia basically ran mammamanna out of the bed this morning with her incessant rolling about and ramblings. After mommy bailed (to the other bed) I knew I wasn’t getting back to sleep so I just cuddled Phia and let her ramble away. It was totally worth it, Check out these lyrics:

"I scrub my armpits overnight

Touch my vulva, make sure it’s alright

Pat my thighs until their thin

Pat my knees, about to grin!

Make my toes touch my nose

And that’s all I know about my shower

It goes all night.”

- Phia, wakes up and makes up a song at 630 am 9/19/2014 (and then sung it for me again so I could record it)

Tagged: soundcloudfevercountry accentsingingsongsoriginal songanatomywaking upgood morningsing it againso I can record itlolomgso funnyshowerdon't get a dirty mindsicksick day

She’s been running a fever

Source: SoundCloud / TMIBeard

Nightmare update…

My mom gramacj just posted this on Facebook:

"Sophia just kissed me good night and said she hoped she didn’t have any more bad dreams. ..because we don’t want to go back."

Tagged: nightmarebad dreamsupdateGramma CJScary

I represented our family’s interests at Phia’s school’s annual Parent Meeting tonight.

I represented our family’s interests at Phia’s school’s annual Parent Meeting tonight.

Tagged: prekschoolArtyeahYes her name is actually Sophia

Horrifying Nightmare

  • *Laying in bed with us this morning...*
  • Phia: Did you know I had a bad dream last night?
  • Daddy: You did? What was it about.
  • Phia: I don't wanna say. It was so scary I was shivering! And it was sad too.
  • Daddy: Oh, I'm so sorry you had a bad dream; you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to.
  • Phia: It wasn't an alien or anything. I would just beat an alien up because they are all soft and squishy, you know? Well, at least the green ones with antenna are. Those ones are called 'Martians'.
  • *Later, downstairs, talking to Gramma CJ and Nanny*
  • Phia: I had a really bad dream Gramma. I was a baby and I didn't know what I was doing and... I'll just cover my ears and you guess what happened next.
  • Gramma: There was a monster?
  • Phia: No, I would just beat a monster up.
  • Nanny: Something was chasing you, trying to get you?
  • Phia: No! There was just baby me and Gramma CJ!
  • Daddy: We don't know what happened sweety. Can you tell us?
  • Phia: Well, I was just a baby and I didn't know what I was doing... and I poked Gramma CJ's eyes out!
  • Gramma: OH! That is scary!
  • Phia: And then guess what happened next... something horrifying.
  • Gramma: (guesses something I can't remember what)
  • Phia: No, I cuh, cuh, cuh... *giving the sound of the first letter as a hint*
  • Daddy: You started crying?
  • Phia: No, think HORRIFYING. I had nails like *this* long!
  • Gramma: Killed? You killed me?
  • Phia: Yes! Isn't that horrifying? I was just a baby and I didn't know what I was doing!

Tagged: horrifyingbad dreamsdreamsnightmaresdreamnightmarewaking upgood morningscaryscaredmonstersaliensmartiansfingernailsgramma cjvocabulary

Phia wanted to play in the puddles after the rain last night. She built “a bridge for ants” and then started working on “a model of the world”, which of course started with building her house made of pinestraw and mud.

I guess you work with what you’ve got when most of the backyard is concrete.

Tagged: concrete junglebridge to nowhereanimal crossingpuddle jumpingRainbackyardHoneyPetscreativity

Mommy has been putting little notes and drawings on Phia’s napkins for lunch. Yesterday, Phia drew her own lunch box note: a Unicorn with a golden tail, mane and horn…

Mommy has been putting little notes and drawings on Phia’s napkins for lunch. Yesterday, Phia drew her own lunch box note: a Unicorn with a golden tail, mane and horn…

Tagged: lunchlunchboxLunchboxnoteArtunicorn

Self Portrait complete with how2beadad #bananaforscale #art #selfportrait #selfie #cute #banana

Self Portrait complete with how2beadad #bananaforscale #art #selfportrait #selfie #cute #banana

Tagged: cuteartselfportraitselfiebananaforscalebanana

Captain Rootbody
#beard #plant #hybrid #fineart #art #head #decapitated

Captain Rootbody
#beard #plant #hybrid #fineart #art #head #decapitated

Tagged: plantartfinearthybridheaddecapitatedbeard

Back in Gramma’s good graces.

Tagged: Gramma CJGood graces